The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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