worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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