well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize