So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
