I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
