so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize