His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
