WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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