Do vagina's smell?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
