piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
There's even glitter on my cock...
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