i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
