why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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