I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
