idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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