i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
