So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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