They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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