well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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