"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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