Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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