College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
