and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
