I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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