So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
