i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
