scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize