what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
