Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
