He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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