You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize