After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
