Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
