So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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