Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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