u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
