I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
