I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize