I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
