My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Less talking, more tequila
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
