I love black thongs
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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