Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
