I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
