Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
