It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
