wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we're making bets on your personal life
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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