Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
