Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
