I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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