Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
