I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
