i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
