Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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