How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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