winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I love you.
Bad choice
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
