Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
