They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
