Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
