i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
