I murdered the dance floor call the cops
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize