Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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