just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
