im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
