Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
