What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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