i was born a porn star she said
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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