Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize