the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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