We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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