Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
