What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize