i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
